Lights Gone, Days End
by Shaz1
Summary: Set just before season one, Mac's feelings on the loss of his wife.


**Light's Gone, Day's End**

By Shaz

Disclaimed- none of the characters recognised in this story belong to me I am afraid they are the property of the actors that portray them and CBS, I will return them relatively unharmed!

This is my first venture into the CSI-NY realm, so please let me know if I am doing ok, reviews really do mean the world, be gentle- but be honest!

Anyway this is set prior to season one, and is very much Mac based!

**Light's Gone, Day's End**

The lights twinkled in the moonlit sky, the city still abuzz with activity despite the late hour. People bustling along the street, hurrying to return home to loved ones- spend time with their families and leave their working days behind them.

A figure sat his back turned to the world, staring out across the city that had become his home, his head rested on his hand as his eyes stared out of the office window, barely registering the movement below. The skyline in front of him had changed in the last two years, and with it his life had completely spiralled. He had suffered loss throughout his life, he was no stranger to the deep burning pain that it brought with it- yet two years after that horrific day his soul still yearned for its mate to return, and although his heart still continued to beat in his chest it was still incomplete. He functioned from day to day, but even he recognised that it was merely functioning and not living. He unconsciously twiddled the gold band that graced his left ring finger, his thoughts a million miles and a few years away. He knew he should take the ring off, but it was one of only a couple of things he had left to remind him of his wife, and he wasn't strong enough to let it go, not yet.

CSI-CSI-CSI-CSI-CSI-CSI-CSI

The Greek detective stood, her arms folded and her face a set line as she observed her friend through his office window. He was oblivious to her observations as he stared out across the city, and she felt his pain as though it were her own. She knew how Claire's death still affected the head of the crime lab, it was obvious in every movement that he took, in every word that he uttered, but more than anything it was evident in his eyes. She had known Mac Taylor for years, known his wife almost as long and she had thought of them both as her family. They had shared many a meal together, and had been as close as any work colleagues could be, but when the towers had fallen something had irreparably broken in her best friend. His eyes had lost their spark, and his smile that had once been easy and full was now a rare sight that never lit up his face anymore. She couldn't say that she blamed him; he had lost his soul mate. Stella had never seen a couple as in love as the Taylors, and she doubted if she ever would again. She just concentrated now on making sure that Mac survived, sending him home when he pushed himself too hard, feeding him when he forgot to eat and being there for him on the rare occasions that he was willing to talk. All of that aside it didn't stop her from worrying about him, and she was not going to stand by and watch her friend self-destruct. She sighed once more before knocking lightly on the glass door, not waiting for him to respond she gently pushed it open and stepped into his office.

"Hey Mac" she greeted softly, making sure that he was aware of her presence, he slowly turned around in his chair, as if he had just woken up.

"I thought you had gone home?" he replied, his brow furrowed in confusion at her being there. Nine times out of ten he was the last person at the lab, his work was his only solace.

"I had a few things to finish up" she replied, perching on the edge of his desk. "You ok?" she asked him softly, taking in his tired, drawn features.

"I'm fine" he replied automatically. She quirked an eyebrow at him in response, but refrained from further comment.

"The others have all gone to Sullivans for a couple, do you feel like joining us?" she asked, fearing already that she knew the answer, but not willing to give up on asking him. He sighed to himself tiredly before replying.

"I think I'll give it a miss" he replied softly, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Are you sure? The new kid's buying" she told him with a smile, Mac smiled slightly in reply. He had taken a bit of a risk with his latest recruit, Danny Messer, but he had faith that it would pay off"

"Have a good time Stella, and thank you" he told her quietly, in no frame of mind to socialise with the team despite their best intentions.

"Ok, if you change your mind you know where we'll be" she told him, unable to hide the edge of sadness in her voice. He nodded simply, and watched as she walked to the door. "Mac?" she called just before she left, and as he looked up to her she continued. "Promise me you'll go home and get some sleep?" she asked softly. He smiled gently, touched at her concern.

"I'll go home" he replied as the closest compromise that he could come to. She nodded with a weak smile, accepting that he was being honest with her. She turned and continued on her way out, once more leaving her boss to his own thoughts. He watched her leave, before getting tiredly to his feet; he would stick to his word. He didn't relish the thought of returning home to his dark, empty apartment, but he was a man of integrity and honour and he wouldn't lie to his friend. He shrugged his jacket on and made his way out of the building into the cool night air. He used to love this time of night, when he left work and was on his way home back to his beloved wife. Now it held no relevance to him. It didn't matter if it was the start of the day or the end, whether it was light or dark- it was all the same to him. He pushed his hands deeply into his pockets as he walked home, allowing the breeze to ruffle his hair and nip at his skin. In no time he was home, his key turning in the front door and allowing him to step into the dark room. He pulled his coat off and hung in on the rack, dropping his keys in the bowl. He walked towards the fridge and pulled out a beer, twisting off the cap and heading over to the couch. He made no effort to turn the lights on, light or darkness it made no difference, for the light of his life had gone, extinguished two years ago and never to be relit again.

The End!

Please review!


End file.
